enLIGHTening Relationships by Alexis Zorba

by Rhonda Sheryl Lipstein | Sep 14, 2010 | Namaste Love Whispers

Alexis Zorba

by the One Heart through Alexis ? Zorba

An enlightening relationship is a sharing space that serves the spiritual interests of the individuals involved. It is a spiritual tool that has the potential to intensify and accelerate the growth in each dimension of the spiritual journey.

An enlightening relationship first involves that the partners become aware of their attachments and desires, not as facts acknowledged from the mind, but as vibrations and feelings distinctively perceived in the body and soul. This presence to our feelings is a necessary first step to the letting go of the personal mechanisms that block our spiritual growth, like conditional love, possessivity and control. Presence to our feelings starts a process called dis-identification through which our individual consciousness goes through changes of its identity until losing all identities other than the pure vibration of life itself.

Letting go of the impulses of attaching to the pleasures and satisfactions experienced through a specific relationship is both a challenge and an opportunity.

It is a challenge because the old survival and reproductive mechanisms are deeply grounded in unconscious parts of our body and soul. The individual cannot use the personal will to let go of these mechanisms, as their roots are not fully conscious. It is the consciousness itself that needs to be ALLOWED in uncomfortable roots and wounds. Thus, the only personal power is that of allowing and giving way. Dissolution of the attachments follows the ability of consciousness to keep on witnessing the feelings without triggering the usual reactive patterns that were shaping our personal identity.

It is an opportunity because surrendering the attachments opens the door to a completely new level of sharing and to the only real source of eternal, unconditional love. It also opens the door to tantra, the conscious allowing and channeling of the sexual charge to enlighten the soul and dissolve the limited identity. The treasures and rewards hidden behind that door transcend the perceptual context of the personal self, indeed, they are its very expansion.

An enlightening relationship is not a relationship in which the attention is focusing on the other. It is not even a relationship in which the attention goes on the relationship. In other words, the relationship is not used as a mean of feeling happy, caring, cared for and loved. Rather, it is a co-created space to deepen and express the natural happiness and impersonal love that are discovered in conscious surrender at the center of our being. It is thus a space of self-discovery and self-expression and never a source in itself.

The attention goes to self, not for listening to and following blindly the pulsions and contractions that fragment us and frustrate us but for becoming more and more aware of them, feeling their roots ever more distinctly and, ultimately, surrender them in the recognition that they are cutting us from the natural experience of fullness.

So what is the point of being two if the attention needs going to self ? Our consciousness is so used to being turned outwards that it uses all excuses to avoid going inwards. The need or presence of a partner along with the distorted concept of egoism is one of the easiest excuses. The truth is that egoism does not mean giving attention to self but perceiving and acting in the world from a limited, personal perspective. Cultivating presence to self is thus absolutely necessary to disentangle the web of knots that has been shaping that egoistic perspective. As a matter of fact, some help can be precious for that transcendental task.

A trusted partner who aligns with our spiritual intentions, channels impersonal love and cultivates witnessing with us can be a precious ally in this healing process. A long journey of separation has maintained mechanisms of judgment, unworthiness, conditional love & competition in ourselves and in others. For exemple, clearing any feeling of unworthiness is essential as these feelings maintain us in the illusion that we do not deserve our own attention and that we have to fight to deserve that of others. Yet, in an enlightening relationship, nothing is asked from the other. The help is given by the other without effort, as a vibrational support, through mirroring ourselves to us and through allowing us to be what we are here and now, showing us that we too can allow us to be what we are.

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE

Many spiritual people feel lost because they perceive the beauty and spiritual potential of conscious relating, yet all their efforts to manifest it in their reality fail. The reason is that all efforts to build an enlightening relationship or to transform an existing relationship into a conscious one are doomed from the beginning. Indeed, such a relationship is manifested through divine synchronicity and vibrational alignment, in non-effort only. That kind of relationship simply arises as a natural consequence of the other who is in resonance with us here and now. It is needed when it shows up and it shows up when it is needed. Understanding it, feeling its possibility, envisioning it can be useful along the way, while remaining aware that no personal effort will bring us closer to that experience and remaining trustful that it will come at the perfect time, when needed. As we gradually cease to make compromises unaligned with our sacred intentions, we are freeing ourselves from the old, unconscious, illusory patterns of relating and open the space for the miracle blossoming of the enlightening relationship.

Non-effort is the tantric key to enlightenment and wholeness and this key also applies to our individual male / female balance. In the old way of relating, the balance is searched and found outside, through the (more or less) guaranteed presence of a partner of the opposite sexual polarity. But in the enlightened relating, the relationship acts as a support and context for finding, reconnecting with and expressing our own opposite polarity and thus for dissolving all dependencies on the partner.

This happens in non-effort because, instead of triggering attachment and lust, our partner connects us to feelings and inspirations (e.g. strength, beauty,…) that spontaneously heal and dissolve the aspects in ourselves that do not resonate with these feelings. Allowing an inspiration deep in our soul communicates the vibration of that inspiration to our soul’s densities that need it the most. This process facilitates the full reconnection with both our polarities and culminates into a state of energetical wholeness.

The expression of that newly found wholeness in the context of a space of love co-created with a resonating soul is a divine celebration of life. It is a free flowing dance of the masculine and feminine principles of existence that manifests itself simultaneously inside and outside.

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